Nothing was worse than getting sloppy seconds…until now! So, it looks as though we will be performing at Bar Majestic in Jersey City on every 2nd thursday. You can call it thirsty thursday, sloppy seconds…whichever you like. We will never run out of ideas. Which somehow reminds me of a time I didn’t bring enough cash out one night in the city, and I needed a cab ride home. I was drunk and exhausted and asked some foreign cabby if he could take me home, and I would go into my apartment and get cash. I shouldn’t have asked him. Anyhow, he didn’t know a lick of english, but he understood that I had no money, and proceeded to point at my shoes. My shoes! He wanted my shoes! I guess he was ok with sloppy seconds.

Here’s your friday video on saturday. The only significance is that it takes place in milwaukee, there’s big sausages, and the Italian ALWAYS cheats!

Sincerely,

Donovan

Hell, every guy’s got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I had quite a doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo’s, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck!

 So, the show was great last night, and I wore my bass/strap higher, which I am sure you don’t care about, but I decided to be more like John Paul Jones, and less like Twiggy.  This is certainly a good thing. So, the roof didn’t collapse last night, but I think we almost blew it off with the rebirth of “One Night Stand.” No one bought us Irish Car Bombs, though…(hint,hint Bar Majestic next week!)  Although I enjoy the bigger shows, people keep telling me we sound better small, so you had better come see us before you are watching us through binoculars at the arena, and our egos get too big to care what you think.  I’m such an asshole.  

The artwork is done. Manufacturing has been ordered. Tracks have been uploaded to iTunes (and all the other digital outlets). Publicist has been retained. Radio promo secured. Booking agent on board.

The record will officially hit the streets on September 4th.

We’re minutes away from confirming a release party on September 8th.

Its all happening at the zoo.

Nothing can stop us now.

So i think the verdict is in…there will be other stripped down, half plugged/half unplugged shows. 

For those who came to the show on thursday at the Goldhawk, they caught a very intimate show. We weren’t hiding behind big Marshall stacks, an Ampeg refridgerator, and massive, booming drums…no, oh no!….we had acoustic guitars, we had people sitting on couches directly in front of us, we had milk-carton sized amplifiers. My bass drum was the size of floor tom! As a scrappy rock band, not being obnoxiously loud can be intimidating. As St. Clark promised, we were stripped down. But, it worked out to our favor, and at the end of the night, the audience really responded well. I do remember hearing, “I’d rather see you guys here than at Maxwell’s!,” that night. You see, some of our new stuff, isn’t that in-your-face-rocking-and-rolling-ARGH! It’s more relaxed…It’s more controlled…Don’t worry, you can still sink your teeth into it. But it’s got that sort of (do i dare say) mature feel to it. So, therefore, the unplugged, stripped down approach fit those newer songs like a glove. Let’s face it people, we’re not 20 years old any more. And BTW, the other highlight of the night was a cover. But I’m not telling you what it was…you’re just going to have to come to the next unplugged show and find out for yourself. (IRON MONKEY, JERSEY CITY, FREE, JULY 13)

Anyway, we dusted off an old one from Missile Command. For those peeps who weren’t there, you missed us playing, When They Attack. Which brings me to the title of this post. When i first got my hands on MC, i really liked that song, but i thought Dylan was singing, I hope that wasn’t my hand, instead of, I’ve held letters in my hand. Classic case of singing the wrong words, but g’damn, i really thought those were the words! 

So there is a website specifically for all screwed lyrics that people have sung. it’s called The Archive of Misheard Lyrics. Some of the more funnier ones were:

Bryan Adams, Summer of ‘69….”Got my first real sex dream, I was 5 at the time. Played it till my fingers bled.”

Jimmy Hendrix, Purple Haze…..”Excuse me, while I kiss this guy.”

Ac/Dc, Dirty deeds done dirt cheap….”Dirty deeds and there done with sheep!”

Prince, Little Red Corvette….”Little red corset, Baby you’re much too fat.”

Billy Joel, You maybe right…..”You made the rice, I made the gravy, but it just may be some tuna fish you’re lookin for…  

The Go Go’s, Our lips are sealed…..”Alex the seal”

So, come on…Go ahead and list some of your screw ups…it’s ok, everyone does it… 

The new record was mastered last Friday in NYC. American Anthems will feature 10 new songs and will be released the first week of Sept. Around that time we will start touring to support the release. We want to come to your town and play. We don’t care if it’s Orlando, FLA or if it is Minot, North Dakota. After years of Drug problems, Alcoholism, Self hatred, bad relationships, Head Lice, musician father issues, Strange Austrian people, and shitty new jersey guinea vans, we are back.  These next two records are finally something that we can be proud of and we cannot wait for everyone to hear them.

Just a heads up. The show on Thursday is going to be great. It’s at the Goldhawk in Hoboken NJ and we are doing a stripped down unplugged show. We’re doing this kind of show for the first time ever. Really? Are ya?

Aahh Phuckin Philadelphia! The city I love to hate, and hate to love. But, I must say in my years in the area, it’s the most rewarding when they love you back. They always make you earn it, and almost never forget it, so long as you are giving 100%.  Needless to say, it’s VERY important for The Milwaukees to win this city over. Yeaaah, so this Saturday’s Grape Street show is like a home-coming for me…except I haven’t left….yet.(Hint Hint)  The buzz is becoming stronger in these parts, and I am even hearing rumors of a bus trip to the show! Now that’s a hell of an idea! So, take your balls out of your girlfriend’s purse, and double-fist a couple cold ones at Grape Street. If you’re a lady….take your panties….ah nevermind….just shake yo’ thang! Oh, and a dance party in my kitchen afterwards!!!!

 That’s all I have to say today.

I posted this on myspace, but I figured it is worth repeating here. In September, in support of the release of our American Anthems vol. 1, we’re going to be doing a feature in a Marvel Comics publication whereby we’ll be coming up with an iTunes playlist for Captain America (you know, the superhero…). We are students of American Rock and Roll, so this should be pretty easy, but I am curious what anyone else thinks about what Capt might listen to. Have had some good suggestion over on Myspace. Feel free to share more in the comments section here.

Also, our “Breakup Song” was played on an entertainment podcast called “The Scope” today. Just sort of one of those random things that happens when you fling yourself out onto the information superhighway I guess. Anyway, check it out. And, as always, we are very podcast friendly, so feel free to spin our stuff if you’re doing one yourself.

Our new friend Dominick picked up our sampler at Mars Music down in South Jersey. He liked it so much that he blogged about it. He said we’re “The best thing out of New Jersey, period.” Nice. Thanks dude!

If you want to do us a favor and put some samplers in a local music store in your neck of the woods, drop us a line and we’ll send you everything you need to help us spread the word.

Short Story:

A long-standing open wound was healed yesterday when our lawyer informed us that we are finally cleared to return to Canda if we choose to do so. It is amazing what a good lawyer can do.

Long Story:

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll fill in the gaps for you. Several years back We had a 17-date tour of Canada booked to support our Lloyd Justin EP. We played a few shows in the US before attempting to cross the border into Canada to get to our first Canadian show in Winnipeg.

We had toured Canada once before, and it went pretty well. However, the first time around, we had lied our way in. We didn’t get work visas and we told them we would be recording in Canada so we didn’t need one. In almost every city on that first tour someone else told me a horror story of people getting arrested, fined, having their gear impounded and kicked out of the country for playing without a work visa. So this time around, my genius idea was to actually GET work visas. Our label contacted someone at immigrations. They were told we had to present our itinerary and pay a couple hundred bucks to get the visas.

When we showed up at the border crossing for the 2nd tour, presented our itinerary and were prepared to pay for the visas. Unfortunately, they told us that we needed to jump through all kinds of additional beaureaucratic hoops that we hadn’t been told about and basically we couldn’t get visas and therefore we were not going to be allowed into the country.

Not looking forward to cancelling the rest of the tour, we found a bizarre hotel/restaurant/convenience store/liquor store in Northern North Dakota and regrouped. We called our record label and told them to fax us a bogus recording contract saying that we would be recording for 2 weeks at Brian Adams’ studio in Vancouver. The next morning we drove 90 miles west and attempted to cross again to get to our show in Regina.

If questioned, the plan was to say that the day before we didn’t “have our paperwork straight” but that we do now. We would then show them the recording contract proving we’d be spending money in Canada, not making it, and presto chango, we’d be in.

Of course, that outcome wasn’t in the cards. We were immediately taking inside the immigrations office.

THEM: Have you ever been denied access to Canada?

US: Yes.

THEM: When was that?

US: Ummm…. yesterday….

THEM: Who is the leader of the band?

DYLAN: Me.

THEM: You need to come with me.

Dylan was interrogated for about 20 minutes refusing to admit we were planning to play shows.

THEM: I know you are planning to play shows. We talked to the people you talked to yesterday.

DYLAN: You can’t know that we are playing shows because they reason we couldn’t get visas yesterday was because we didn’t have contracts and guarantees from clubs. We couldn’t get visas because we didn’t have proof we were playing shows!

THEM: (leaving) I’ll get someone else to talk.

Then they pulled Brian (our drummer at the time) into a different interrogation room and had a crack at him. They told him they already knew we were playing shows. He was told that his only choice was to tell the truth or be fined $5000 and face up to 2 years in jail. At which point he said they were crazy and he didn’t understand why they were making such a big deal over the fact that we wanted to play a few low-paying shows to support a release by a Canadian record label.

They thanked him for telling the truth and promptly arrested Dylan for lying to the government. Dylan spent a few hours in jail before being brought to see a “judge” who was chain smoking and working behind the counter of a gas station mini-mart. He was fined $200 Canadian, told he had to leave the country immediately, and that he was banned for life from Canada (though he’d be ellidgible to apply for a pardon after 3 years).

The whole situation left a bad taste in our mouth so we just figured we’d never go back to Canada. But with a new record on the way, we decided that it was at least worth checking into in case we want to license the record to a Canadian label and tour there again. So we asked our lawyer to check it out a couple of weeks ago and received news yesterday that we are all cleared to return to Cnada now if we want.

Hello all! We have been working feverishly on all facets of the biz as we move closer to the release of American Anthems Vol. 1. As technology changes, there are many ways for bands to be heard. We encourage you to email us, or comment and tell us where you find and hear about the music you listen to. It may be a blog, a college radio station, or it might be a friend. Regardless of how, we may not know about it and these are all places where The Milwaukees want to be heard as well!  

As well as being a band, The Milwaukees consists of four individuals. (insert sarcasm) Come to think of it, we are all so different I’m surprised we get along. I am now going to foolishly attempt to introduce myself (Donovan - bass) to you and hopefully create some dialogue. Until The Milwaukees new album goes platinum, the fine people at Free Fm in Philly will allow me a featured segment on The Barsky Show. Long story short, I am featured as a conspiracy theorist.  From JFK, to 9/11, to supermarket savings cards, money, to food. While I am sincere about this, I also realize the humor in it, and it has developed quite a character for myself. Listen to a sample here about the alligator found near my apartment! http://www.941freefm.com/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=713973

Tell me if you love it, hate it, want to fight me, have sex with me, buy me a beer at one of our shows, pay my rent, or you don’t care at all. And then tell at least one new person today about The Milwaukees.

 C’est La Vie!

Donovan Cain